Don Edwards PhD, Dip GIT, Member OACCPP
Some thoughts on therapy
It is often said that we hold the solutions to our problems within ourselves. Therapists facilitate the emergence of our own truth. One of the many ways that this is true is in learning to hear the inner voice that is our intuition, perhaps our most underutilized resource. Some distrust it, believing that logic and reason provide more valid direction. Others cannot hear it because their minds are awash in the ideas of others. However, to paraphrase Don Miguel Ruiz, “Truth is silent. It is something you can feel without words. There is nothing to know; there is nothing to justify.” (Don Miguel Ruiz, The Fifth Agreement). I have observed many clients experience the awakening of awareness of their inner voice of truth and learn to trust it. We are taught to believe others and override this direct knowing within us. Healing often requires learning to mute the inner dialog from others to hear what is already quietly waiting to be heard. I believe this is key to personal growth and a healthy sense of self. Attuning to one's inner intuitive sense that sees the silent truth in things is – in my opinion – the first step to being at peace and finding purpose.
Growing up gay in a climate that ranged from slurs to aggression meant that my role, implicit if not explicit, was that of an outsider, but it had the advantage that I never looked at the world in conventional terms and had a unique vantage point from which to watch. As I struggled with my own problems, an interest in psychology and mental health was natural. Although the social climate of today is very different, seeking psychological well-being and new ways to understand my experience have become lifelong habits that inform my work with clients. I have also come to realize that many of the problems I have faced over the years are not limited to the gay experience but are a window into human experience shared by all.
Psychotherapy is an opportunity to gain perspective, expand awareness of choice, direct one's energy more usefully and feel more alive. Psychodynamic therapies of all sorts follow the principle that the mind, body, emotions and spirit are one complex interconnected system in which pressure, imbalance or blockage in one area create disturbance elsewhere in our being. The hydraulic metaphor is apt. Countering such disturbance is our natural tendency to self-regulate to restore internal balance; this is the source of the desire and urgency for change felt by many clients even if the way is unclear. Through awareness and conscious choice, the unblocking of emotional stoppages reintegrate us to be the dynamic presence in the world each of us was meant to be.
My guiding principles in therapy in no particular order are that agreements with self and others define the quality of our experience, creativity is the truest expression of the self, the present is where we live like it or not, we initiate change when we are ready, resistance marks our growing edge and our self-imposed limits, incremental persistence has tremendous power, perfection is relative and ultimately a meaninglessness notion, and last, relaxing about all of this allows humour to emerge and facilitates our connection with others.
Some thoughts on living
Much unhappiness in the world comes from believing ideas that bring us into conflict with others. These ideas may also create divisions within our own psyche turning us against ourselves. If we recognize our fundamental similarity and connectedness, we gravitate toward self-acceptance and inclusive values in place of division and separation.
Learning to take more responsibility for ourselves positions us to take positive action in our lives and opens the door to more compassion for others.
For most of us, the business of life crowds out the bigger questions about life such as what is one's purpose and what would that purpose look like manifest in one's life. Whether we know what our purpose is, it is already there, and we are unhappy when our beliefs and choices are at variance with it. Attending to personal work around trauma, beliefs and identity readies us for our purpose to emerge into awareness.
Life is short, fragile and unpredictable from which derives its wonder and excitement as an existence long, stolid and without surprise could never be. Things happen for a reason even if it takes time for us to understand what the reason is; we don't have to know why the experience is occurring to experience the experience.
We attract into our lives experiences that we need to complete old unlearned lessons and further our growth. Change happens where we put our energies. Energy in small doses accomplishes the most. Commitment shows that we are engaging with our passions.
My practice
I am the founder of the All of You Wellness Centre in Toronto and a member of the Relationship Coaching Institute, offering individual and group psychotherapy, coaching for singles and couples and career counselling. I hold a Ph.D. from the University of Toronto and received my psychotherapy training at the Gestalt Institute of Toronto. Influences that inform my work also include music training, two decades of working in industry (insurance, IT, human factors), research, recruiting, teaching, shamanic studies and volunteer work.
I work in either a psychotherapy or coaching modality depending on the needs of the client, principally with gay men, singles and couples and those at a cross-roads in their career.
Individual therapy sessions are typically 60 to 90 minutes in length. Fees include HST and may be covered by insurance depending on the terms of your benefit plan. Allowances are made for students and those with special circumstances. Workshop fees vary depending on length. Coaching is program based supporting you on the path toward your goals. Coaching fees are not covered by insurance. I have an office in Stratford as well as an office in Toronto.